Afghanistan My Last Tour

Chef Ramsey - we need your magic here!

Where is Chef Gordon Ramsey when you need him?  He would probably shudder if he saw the kitchen photographs I took today.  Maybe he would be willing to fly to Afghanistan as part of his Kitchen Nightmares series.  That’s because today was a real treat as I accompanied my ANA SGM to the ANA Dining Facility (DFAC).  Two days ago we discussed a problem concerning the garrison DFAC.  He explained the DFAC periodically runs out of food and fruit to feed the ANA soldiers.  Initially my first thought was to work with the contractor to supply additional food.  But this solution seemed too easy and I vividly recalled my disastrous last proposal.  Previously I proposed substituting goats to mulch the tall grass on the soccer field instead of manual cutting it.  The SGM quickly reminded me of the incompatibility of goat waste and soccer players.  Keeping this in mind, I decided to explore the problem in more detail.

Required amount of food for each soldier

The ANA food calculations are still based on the old Soviet-era imposed system.  Roll call is taken in the morning and then tabulated.  The contractor is provided these numbers and then he provides a precise amount of food for the following day.  The problem is the contractor does not provide any additional food for unannounced visitors or a mathematical error when they tabulate the roll call.  This really causes a problem on pay day when everyone is present for duty.  As a result, they often have shortages.  Their temporary solution is to share food with each other.

Steel pots for cooking at ANA Dining Facility. They are big enough for a person to climb in.

I was rather intrigued and being a visual person, I just had to see their DFAC operations.  The SGM drove me in his truck along with my interpreter “Saleem the Dream”.  Saleem was nicknamed this because he likes to wrestle despite his small stature.  Anyhow, I was given the grand tour of the DFAC.  Outside several grandfather-looking men were peeling potatoes and onions by hand.  They motioned for me not to take their picture.  Some Afghans are sensitive about having their picture taken, while others fear the enemy might see it and harm them for supporting the ANA.

Weighing watermelons

Also outside they were weighing the watermelons.  Recall the contractor only provides a precise amount of food stuff down to the kilogram.  Inside I was shown the cooking areas.  The scorched steel pots in the pictures are large enough for me to crawl inside.

Rice for 1,700 ANA soldiers

The cauldron of rice is large enough to feed at least 1700 soldiers for lunch.
After touring the kitchen, we went into the cafeteria portion and fresh Nan bread was being stacked on the counter top.

Fresh Nan bread

It didn’t surprise me that the employees were not wearing gloves or safety nets.

Saleen and SGM eating fresh watermelon

Because of my interest in their food problem, the SGM, Saleem and I were treated to one of those fresh watermelons.  The SGM inquired how I was going to resolve their dilemma.  Darn him, he really likes to challenge me.  The problem isn’t isolated to this DFAC but is present at all of the ANA DFACs in Afghanistan.  But after seeing their MRE equivalent, the soldiers are gracious about eating here.  I will have to do some research and give this problem some thought before providing a solution.

Afghan silk rug - price anywhere from $2,000 to $4,000. But where are its measurements?

After returning to camp a rug merchant had his wares prominently displayed.  This 100% Afghan silk rug really caught my eye.  Now I wonder whether Mrs. Temple will approve.  Honey, it’s only $4,000, but I may be able to get him down to $2,000-$2,500.  Until I am ready to purchase, the merchant will not bargain with me.

From Mrs. Temple: I very much approve of the rug. It’s beautiful. But how about telling me the measurements of the rug and what room it’s for? I need little tidbits like that before deciding to spend $2,000 on a rug, babe! We need a big rug to replace the one in the living room that Sam ate and another little one for the upstairs landing…..

Filed under: Food and living conditions Tagged: | Afghanistan, cooking, decorating, food, Gordon Ramsey, Kitchen Nightmares, photos, rugs, U.S. Air Force, U.S. Army, war