Afghanistan My Last Tour

Former Russian O-Club surrounded by snow.

Being an ETT mentor is a challenge, but working with antiquated computers, printers, and software poses a test in itself.  But before I get into equipment issues, I need to set the stage properly.  Last night at our 5 o’clock meeting we received an administrative tasking concerning accountability of equipment, weapons, ammunition, vehicles, and communication equipment for our ANA forces.  The deadline was set for noon tomorrow.  Sounds simple enough, surely in eight years the ANA have developed some sort of accountability list or database to track the items being given to them.

Winter picture of Tajbeg Palace.

Surprisingly, they have an accountability system.  The problem is that it has not been fully translated into English.  This is where I come in, because I have been working on deciphering the codes, model numbers, etc. of the equipment issued to them even though I have never seen or been exposed to mortars, howitzers, and the labels the Army has come up with.  But with the help of my interpreter, I am able to muddle through it.  Often the room resembles a game of charades to help explain or describe the item in question.  Another method is the use of crude hand drawings (think Kindergarten level) on paper.   Without having access to internet, I am still puzzled by some of the nomenclatures.  For example, I was unsure what a KPVT mtd on BRDM or an M-113 or M-557 is.  This is the only information I have and since I don’t know what it is, I can’t explain it to my ANA counterparts either.  Yet I need to find out if they have any of these items.  Hmmm…ok..

The ANA Property Book Officer was only available for 30 minutes and is the only one who holds a printed copy of the “Holy Grail” property book listing.  But he had to leave shortly and asked his assistant, an ANA Lieutenant (LT), to make a copy before he left.  The LT placed the pages in the printer and they became jammed.  After clearing the paper jam, PBO had to leave and assured me that the listings could be printed from the data base.  I never thought printing a document would turn into a fiasco, but it did.  The assistant printed a list out, but after reviewing the data, I realized this was old data, so we would have to try again.  When he attempted to print the listing again, the printer generated an error and was out of ink and paper.  The paper was an easy remedy and since I recently picked up a whole box of ink cartridges from the Army Supply store as free issue the cartridge issue would be easily rectified.  If nobody took these cartridges, they were going to dispose of them, so I took their entire stock.  Unknown to me at this time, the shelf life expired and the HP printer will reject them and flash an error message.  But I also had the foresight to have my interpreter visit the local bazaar and pick up some other cartridges in case these didn’t work.

I gave the assistant a black ink cartridge to install in the printer.  The HP printer accepted it and we were back in business.  I waited a few minutes and noticed the assistant had a puzzled look on his face.  He couldn’t get the computer to print the data.  Meanwhile I sipped my customary cup of chai and watched as the assistant disappeared out the door.  A few minutes later, he came back in with another printer and attached the cables.  This printer happened to be out of ink too, so he transferred the ink cartridges from his printer to this one.  Just like magic, the computer cooperated and the printer spit out the spreadsheets at the speed of a moving turtle.  Did I mention a prerequisite in becoming a mentor is having the patience of Job.

Precious time was ticking away and after several more rounds of charades, my Captain and I deciphered through the data.  We met our deadline with an hour to spare.  As for the data accuracy, I am saving that for a separate entry because I found several errors that will have to be corrected unless the basis of issue has changed to 4 each M-16 rifles per person.  Oh, before I forget, an M-113 and 557 is some sort of Armored Personnel Carrier (APC).  The KPVT is a Soviet machine gun and the BRDM is a Soviet amphibious armored patrol car.  Note to self:  Add these words to your new coalition forces vernacular.

One last tidbit I omitted.  Several years ago a US contractor provided computers and printers to the ANA.  Since then, only certain models are authorized.  As a result, the printer model in my PBO is not authorized.  Therefore, he cannot obtain printer cartridges through the Minister of Defense logistical supply system.  Requests have been placed through the ANA supply system for new printers.  The MOD released 2 printers for the use of several thousand soldiers.

Vixen, the puppy: Where is that dog house you promised me?

From Liisa, SMSgt Temple’s wife: Rex did not have time to take pictures during this assignment. But he sent a few others from the past few days.